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I agree that open and honest communication about intimate
matters is very important.
Sometimes a little action can spur things along. I was with
a lady and we had talked about anal sex and she said that it
might be a possibility once she trusted me but that she had
never had it with any previous partners. The first time
we were intimate, I thought I would explore her anal area
with my finger. I was fully prepared to stop if she objected
but she did not. I expected to tease her anus with my finger
but did not expect to penetrate it because my finger was
not lubed. To my surprise, and I would assume hers, my finger
slid in easily without lube--so much so that I inserted
a second finger. I was doing this while performing cunnilingus
and massaging her g-spot with my other hand. Afterward,
we discussed it and she told me that she never realized anal
penetration could be so enjoyable. It opened up the discussion
and subsequent activities.
i def agree that being able to talk about sex and having trust
in a relationship is very very improtant......i has taken
awhile in most of my relastionships for my girl to even think
about having aal sex..... even then she is questionablr
about it... but def after alittle time.... they warm up
to the idea... cause its intruging....
this has been just from my experiences
Excellent article. Scott's assumption that women
from conservative backgrounds may be less open-minded
but as Tristan says the way you approach talking about sex
makes a big difference. I was brought up in a strict catholic
environment (Yes I was a catholic schoolgirl, uniform
and all). Initially I was very hesitant to consider new
things or even talk about them. Patience and tact on a mans
part can break down all of those barriers. Now we can talk
freely about anything.
Angel
I've noticed a lot of people assume this is about getting
comfortable with anal... that was an example, not the point
of the article. communication of desires and fantasies
of all sorts can lead to the same results. you should be discussing
everything you need from your partner, not just, "Hey,
what are your thoughts on anal..."
Tristan scores again!
A really good article. I was raised in a very conservative
environment and married as a very young virgin. My husband
never discussed sex with me (nor wanted me to discuss it)
so the vanilla sex we had was what I believed to be the way
it was. I have to admit that I truly believed that female
orgasms were made up by people like Cosmopolitan to sell
magazines.
After that relationship crashed and burned, my next partner
was very experienced and encouraged me to communicate.
I completely grossed out at the possibility of anal sex.
He bought me Tristan's book, encouraged me to read
it and discuss anything that I wanted to. He was kind, incredibly
patient, and we learned to have wonderful anal sex together.
I also found out that not only could women have orgasms,
they could ejaculate! Who knew?
Thanks for these thought provoking articles - mayble they
will help couples to communicate better - it's the
key to not only a successful sex life but also a sucessful
relationship.
My girl and me are very honest and open with each other.When
we first started dating we were partying one night and went
on this web site.She told me about her wild sex she had when
she was younger.Shes had MMF, shes been with another woman.I
told her I fantasize about mmf.She is cool about it.If your
with the right person they will want to experience your
desires with you.
Loved the artical!!!! Communacation is very important....and
listening to your partner especially when trying somthing
new is a must!!! They have to trust that you will do only what
they are comfortable with...and stop if they ask..with
no hard feelings or anger expressed!!! If you take things
slow so they are comfortable enough to relax and enjoy the
experience..and see that you are recieving pleasure too
it makes the experience even better!!!
Good information. Men tend to shy away from discussion
or are a bit verbally challenged when it comes to expressing
their desires. It just comes out, "let me fuck your.."
or something along those lines. That can be a real deal breaker
as opposed to finding a more tactfull, kind way towards
different activity.
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Very GOOD, Everyone needs to be able to talk about sex and
what they like and dislike about it.